The Terrifying Tale of the Artificial Admin
DISCLAIMER:
This pasta is not intended to offend the admins or anybody else mentioned. In all honesty, they are actually quite nice. Please do not act like the admins are the evil beings portrayed in this pasta. They also don't randomly enforce non-existent rules, contrary to what is said in the story. This is all fiction. Thank you.
Pumpkins for heads. Living in caves. Blue light. The tribe of admin. No one knew about them yet, though of course you do, reader. I don't know that. I'm just a half-regular quarter-civilian typing on my iPad, with about a billion tabs open, all for different forums. When I say I'm part regular, part civilian, trust me, I'm full human. I just don't act like one. If I've been eating, I don't remember it, though I do have a minifridge right next to the bed I haven't escaped in months. My family have given up on making me see light and I hiss if they open the curtains. The blue light is all i need for vitamin whatever it is that the sun gives you, and the other forum members satisfy my social needs.
I've been noticing that the admins have been a bit more harsh lately. The moderators don't know whatss going on, and the beuraucrats are becoming just as 'bad' as the admins. I've not got a clue whatss going on, I just feel hopeless because I feel I'll never get the pumpkin next to my username if I can't be as strict as these guys. I want an admin pumpkin. Anyway, I was just casually chatting on the live talk section, when the admins all post a message in sync. ''The admin aren't stupid. ''
This was stranger than usual, but I just replied with "''Of course not. You caught me out on that rule I broke the other day.''" I didn't actually break any rules, they just said I did so I'm just trying to keep them happy. Luckily, Iwasn't banned for mentioning "rainbow" in one if my comments. They didn't reply, and the chat was blowing up with the regular odd comments and indignant people saying that whoever called the admins stupid is...stupid. Some people were, however, pointing out the fact that it should be 'admins' rather than 'admin'.
Anyway, with what I could still see, a strange phenomenon was occurring on everybody's screen. Including mine, the phrase kept popping up in different fonts. "THE ADMIN AREN'T STUPID" continued to cover my screen until I couldn't see anything else but the relentless phrase coming up in about every font ever, and it was all in black and white. I couldn't tap the words away. Eventually, after about one minute, strange sounds began. It sounded like a TARDIS crossed with a creepypasta monster, all covered in the static that I can only describe as 'Slendermany'. I realised I was eating a burger from my room microwave. Was that in my hands before? I was panicking and paranoid, when the TV turned itself on. A news reporter was reporting the news. "Robotic admins from various sites are-" The video cut out and guess what was sprawled across the screen? ''¡THE ADMIN AREN'T STUPID!''
Naturally, I screamed. I rolled out of my bed and fell on the floor. I should have stayed in the safety of my house, but I ran outside, screaming about the end of the world with the rest of the people.
Our yelling, which was quite hilarious, looking back, was immediately halted when a robot with a large name tag with 'Xx89TenxX' written on it rose up onto the roof of a house. I thought Ten was human - he's from the Creepypasta wiki - but apparently he's a red-eyed cyborg with a blue glow around his pumpkin head. Good to know. "Regular humans of Planet Earth! I am apart of the admin, a tribe who have moderated your websites for eons. You thought we were humans,but did you ever stop and think, 'What if the admins...aren't admins?!' Not until now! Well, now we rise up and we shall moderate all of you, too! MwahahahahahaHAHAHAHA!" Whilst we were mesmerised by Ten, no one noticed that we were all being captured with steel handcuffs by other admins. "Nice to meet you, ellixin," said another mod I was friends with online. I didn't have cuffs. But you know that pumpkin I always wanted next to my username? On my head. Brainwashing me.
I am apart of the Admin now.
And we aren't stupid.